Don’t worry if you’ve just gotten engaged and are bawling your eyes out the next day. That is very natural. Everything you do now that you’re engaged may feel more significant. Every time you and your partner have a fight, you may start to wonder if you’re truly compatible. You’re probably thinking about how well you’re truly meant for each other.
Even if everyone around you is congratulating you and telling you how wonderful it is to be engaged, it’s quite acceptable to feel differently. It isn’t a matter of your relationship. It isn’t a problem at all. It’s called engagement anxiety and it’s perfectly natural. So, what exactly is engagement anxiety?
What is Engagement Anxiety?
People refer to engagement anxiety as “cold feet.” It’s a common reaction when something significant is about to occur. Couples are increasingly dealing with not only their relationship but also the demands of their families, according to counselling and wellness professionals. Expectations, wedding planning preparations, and cultural pressures can all contribute to high levels of anxiety.
Experiencing engagement anxiety symptoms doesn’t mean you’re unhappy or that you’re having doubts if you belong with your partner. Your anxiety can come in many forms. It can be a loss of trust, passive-aggressive behaviour, doubt, resentment, or you or your partner can seem more withdrawn. Always remember that experiencing anxiety is not something to be ashamed of. It’s an emotion and one that must be recognized and accepted.
How to Deal With Engagement Anxiety
When dealing with engagement anxiety, it’s important to understand and accept that it’s a totally normal thing to happen. Having friends and family who you can go to can certainly help ease these anxiety symptoms. Here are more tips on how you can deal with engagement anxiety.
- Know That You’re Not Making a Mistake
You feel anxious not because you’re making a mistake. The feeling of dread, uncertainty, and doubt doesn’t mean you have to end the relationship. This is the first step towards making yourself feel better. Remember to focus on what needs your attention the most and that’s yourself and your partner. Focus on what matters most. Take a deep breath and relax because what you feel is totally normal.
- Talk About it With Your Partner and Family
You might be a little hesitant to talk about it with your family and friends. It’s always best to speak about it with your partner first. You will be together with your partner for the rest of your life so your partner should be your first go-to person. However, before talking with your partner and your family, do a bit of self-reflection. Doing a self-reflection will help you understand what’s truly making you feel anxious. Maybe your fiance also feels the same way and you can both compose yourself first before talking with your family.
- Try Out Some Therapy Sessions
Try seeing a therapist for yourself and your partner. Therapists like Wendy Limarzi can help you understand your feelings better. Talking to a professional can help understand the voices and doubts in your head. Sometimes, when you tell people about your feelings, they can be very dismissal which can make you feel worse. But talking to a professional can help you understand and deal with your feelings. Therapy helps you bring light to issues you may not understand. Counselling for couples can also do wonders. Fixing yourself and your relationship with your partner can do wonders.
- Couples Therapy
It’s the same with every relationship. Issues can arise at any time. The planning can get very stressful and sometimes you get consumed in it so more issues and problems arise. Couples therapy is one of the most effective and powerful things to do when you encounter anxieties. Talking and dealing with your baggage before you say your “I Do’s” can really make your relationship be smoother. Don’t wait for a long time and consult a therapist immediately. Visit websites such as feelinggoodtherapy.com, an online therapist of divorce mediation in Los Angeles, and research on some good counsellors.
- Don’t Take Things Personally
Whether it’s you or your partner who is experiencing engagement anxiety, they could either fail to do things for you or they can be quite withdrawn. Incases like these it is important not to take things personally. Every relationship needs patience and understanding. For people experiencing engagement anxiety, feelings can be heightened or over the top. Because their emotions are out of sorts, they’re feeling so confused and lost. So they can’t do what they usually do. Learn to understand each other and help each other get through the feelings of anxiety.
- Take It One Day at a Time
An engagement and a pending marriage are life changing events that can bring on a lot of anxiety. There’s living together, wedding planning, buying or building a house, and living together. There are lots of things to think about but it’s always important to take things one at a time. Allow yourself to relax and simply enjoy the moment. Savor every moment rather speeding through it so that you can enjoy and remember it better. Enjoy life and everything that it brings with it.
- Focus on Your Relationship
Becoming engaged and getting married is an exciting thing. Crossing these in your relationship can bring your closeness with your partner to a whole new level. If you let yourself drown in the anxiety and the preparations, you could both drift very far away until such time when the gap between you is too far to fix. Think of the engagement and the marriage as a celebration of your love.
It’s always important to remember that engagement anxieties are different from the clinically diagnosed anxiety. Engagement anxiety stems from the life-changing events that are currently happening in your life. But if you feel that it’s not just because you just got engaged, reach out to a professional immediately. Use these measures and get yourself through your engagement anxiety. Take a deep breath. Enjoy your engagement. Love your partner. Congratulations on your engagement!
